Saturday: we went to breakfast with Lee and then made our way to Bolton. We did the $3 winery tour there and tried a few different kinds of wine, leaving with a bottle of Strawberry Rhubarb and a bit sloshed. We picked peaches and pears in the warm sun after the tour. I made a sad attempt at climbing a tree. Lee nearly got in trouble for eating fruit straight off the trees. Geoff put a cone on his head. A good time was had by all.
Sunday: Geoff and I woke early and joined Mitch and Elissa for a trip to King Richard’s Faire. The faire was full of people (not only employees) dressed in garb, talking like drunk, perverted medievalists of times past. I'd gone to the Faire once before, in elementary school, but it is much more entertaining to go as an adult. There are so many bitter performers making jokes about what a liberal arts education gets you, so many double entendres, so much cleavage (which Geoff was very excited about)…
The Bloom men each made their presence known. First, we attended a performance called "The Mud Show TM," during which two men dragged themselves through a small pool of mud, aiming to get as muddy as possible. They split the audience in half and competed against each other to see who could be the grossest. First, the man representing our side dragged his face through the mud, made his way through the other side of the audience, and kissed a woman smack dab on the lips. To top his competitor, the second man also dragged his face through the mud and then declared that, because our side had no beautiful woman (I never!), he would kiss one of our handsome men. Guess which man he chose - Geoff! As the mud-masked man approached Geoff, Geoff patted his buttcheck suggestively, but the man would not have it. He swung an arm around Geoff, and puckered up... Geoff turned his head just in time! The man's muddy lips landed on Geoff's cheek and left dark mud on his ear, neck, and hair.
Later, during a gypsy dance performance, Mitch was pulled up on stage to dance along with a feisty gypsy “lady,” who exposed his belly to the world, made him dance, and encouraged him to tip her by putting a dollar bill between her corset-enhanced bosom.
In addition to these Bloom-enhanced performances, we saw acrobatics, fire-eating, and jousting. Geoff went to the gallows. I was carted away in a prisoner cart pulled by two extremely frightening masked men. We ate “King’s Clam Chowder Boule” and “Sweet Potato Fryes.” We snacked on the King’s Nuts (candied almonds) and on a humongous piece of chocolate cake, smothered in fudge like frosting and chocolate and caramel sauces. Geoff bought me an early birthday present – gorgeous peridot earrings that are said to symbolize a strong relationship – and I purchased a T-Shirt for Geoff that labels him as the “Wench Magnet” he truly is (as long as I’m the only wench he chooses).
After the Faire, we made our way to Hull, MA, where Geoff’s great Aunt Marlene and Uncle Harold live. Their house is on a strip of land with the ocean in one direction and the bay in the other. Geoff and I took a walk to the bay at sunset and enjoyed a few minutes by ourselves after a long day of medieval romping. It was quite romantic taking pictures of the Boston skyline as the sun fell. Geoff climbed up on a nearby wall to further enjoy the evening, but I couldn't make it up on the high wall. As he came back down, we noticed that his foot had blood on it, and that he had taken a good chunk of skin out of his toe while climbing. Good thing we didn't have a long walk back!
I enjoyed a breakfast of Lox and Bagels, and a driving tour of Hull, the next morning. Marlene brought us to an old fort from the revolutionary war, which is now covered in graffiti, but still awesome. We saw beautiful houses, and the place where Harold picks up the ferry into Boston each morning. After our tour, we made our way back to Gardner (we forgot stuff!) and ended up staying the night because we were so exhausted from our long weekend.
Hey everyone!
